Ranch v. Buttermilk Dressings

BUTTERMILK DRESSING Recipe

Let me start off by saying that I AM NOT A FOOD SNOB! Not. At. ALL. Instead, I happen to enjoy pure flavors and fresh ingredients.  I deeply appreciate the skill of a true culinary professional utilizing proper technique to craft a dish. I’ve spent most of my adult life pursing excellence within the hospitality industry. That excellence can be exhibited on many levels - not only in fine dining establishments, but also in casual everyday cuisine.  At every price point, for every type of cuisine, there is fantastic, tasty, well made food. 

The opposite is also true.  At every price point, for every type of cuisine, there is insipid, dull, poorly made food.  (Here’s looking at you, Corporate Restaurants of America.) Merely because a certain food item is extremely popular and common place does not mean that it’s actually good, tasty or healthful.  You want examples?  Here’s one:  Today I’m all worked up about that revolting, nauseating, gag-inducing, industrial-chemical-tasting, concoction known as Ranch Dressing! Can I share a little secret between the two of us? I HATE BOTTLED RANCH DRESSING. IT DISGUSTS ME. I have never offered this putrid, gut-wrenching liquid from any of my kitchens and I never, ever, ever, ever will.

Ranch dressing was created innocently enough by some dude ranch owner in California. The basic ingredients were a combination of fresh garlic, herbs, buttermilk and sour cream.  Yum.  Sounds delicious and fresh – the opposite of what you get today. Today you get industrial ranch dressing, and the modern industrial food industry is not in the business of pure, unadulterated flavors. No the main concern of these gargantuan “food” manufacturers is twofold: make the product as cheaply as possible, and make sure the product will be shelf stable and thus last until the end of time.

Here’s a short list of the 22 odd ingredients in a bottle of a popular ranch dressing brand: Phosphoric Acid, Xanthan Gum, Modified Food Starch, Monosodium Glutamate, Artificial Flavors, Disodium Phosphate, Sorbic Acid and Calcium Disodium EDTA as Preservatives, Disodium Inosinate and Disodium Guanylate.  Does that sound delicious to you? To me it sounds more like a list of noxious chemicals found in an EPA superfund site:  contaminated by hazardous waste and identified by the EPA as a candidate for cleanup because it poses a risk to human health and/or the environment.  Definitely not wholesome. 

And do you really enjoy the taste?  Or are you enjoying some memory of the taste from before the industrial food industry took over and injected chemicals with fake flavor into the dressing? 

Now that you know what’s in those bottles – STOP BUYING THEM.  Instead, take 5 minutes or less to make your own, fresh, delicious, good for you dressing.  Here’s one of my favorites:

CHEF BILL’S BUTTERMILK DRESSING

2 Shallots

1 Garlic Clove, minced

2 Tablespoons Chopped Parsley

2 Tablespoons Chopped Basil

1 Teaspoon Dijon mustard

1 egg yolk

3 Tablespoons Sherry Vinegar

9 ounces Canola Oil

4 ounces Olive Oil

1 ounce Buttermilk

1 Teaspoon Black Pepper

Salt to taste

DIRECTIONS:

1. Combine the Shallots, Garlic Clove, Parsley, Basil, Dijon mustard, egg yolk and Sherry Vinegar in a container that holds at least 20 ounces. Blend with hand mixer until smooth.

2. Slowly start adding the canola oil.  Then add the olive oil. The mixture should have the consistency of mayo.

4. Mix in the buttermilk.

3. Adjust seasoning.